The Single Women's 30 Day Blogger Challenge

So on Twitter and Instagram, I follow Mandy Hale, author of The Single Woman. I have not read the book just yet but for over a year, I have followed her on Twitter and she has just had the right things to say. I can truly say, it has been a blessing to read her blog and tweets. 

Find more about her here

This month she issued a 30 day blogging challenge and today's post really just hit home and I decided to join in. Besides with the exception of Tumblr, I have not done too much blogging on this site.

I need to catch up on the first few days which I will do here. If you want to join in, see more details here:

Day 1:
1)      Your response to everyone’s favorite question: “And why are YOU still single?”

- I have been single for about 2 years now. And the easiest answer is that I was still holding on to my ex. We were together for 5 years. At this present time, he has moved on and I wish him the best of luck. That chapter is now closed and I need to learn to be ok with being by myself and developing my relationship with God. 
Note: This is probably the first time I have truly been able to admit that...progress folks. progress.

Day 2:
2)      Describe a moment or a day when being single really sucked.
- Oh wow.... I say in general I am an open book. I like to share so much of my life with others. I have come to terms that I am a communal person. But in terms of being single, there is just something about having a companion. Moments when being single really suck is when I want to call a guy late at night and talk for hours about my life. Or wanting to go out to the movies, listen to a new cd with a guy, read my poetry. 
The moments where I realize the absence of a companion in my life is when single life sucks.

Day 3:
3)      Describe a moment or a day when being single was really awesome.
- When I lived in Chicago and celebrated my 23rd birthday was probably the best day where single was awesome. I brought in my birthday at this bar where there was a James Brown cover band. I found myself dancing with all of these artists (some I knew but others I just met) and them passing the word around the bar that it was my birthday. The entire day I was on my own schedule and hung out with whoever I wanted. I walked from my job at Steppenwolf to the beach and sat along the water and wrote. It was the best feeling ever. I have had more days like that but I think that was one of the first days where I was glad that I was single. 

Day 4 (which is where the challenge is today)
4)      Your biggest fear as a single person.
-  I will miss out on someone great because I haven't truly healed from my past. I am sure that I am not the only one who may feel this way. It is a constant thought. Can I truly be with someone? I did have a great relationship at one point and it didn't work. Is there something wrong with me? Could I have another great relationship in the future? It all gets overwhelming. Sometimes it's better to block it all out. I try to stay busy and not think at all about my fears. 

I loved what Mandy had to say today about fears on her blog:
Lean into your fears. Don’t run from them. Feel them. Sit with them. Validate them. Then let them go and trust that God’s plan is best, however much it might line up with or deviate from your plans. How do I know this? Because as He says in one of my very favorite scriptures: “For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I have always ran from my fears and maybe it's time to stop. Accept them and give them to God.

This is a crazy month for me at work but I am committed to finishing this challenge. Hold me accountable readers and spread the word. God always reveals the right opportunities to me and I think this challenge will bring out some great things!

#THESW30

New Poem 7/1/13

I cry out for justice

Yelling until my voice cracks

Pounding my chest until my knuckles bleed

The blood

It streams down my body

Mixing in with my tears

Creating a pool underneath me

I cry out for justice

While they try and silence me

Try and frighten me

Try and discourage me

Try and keep me from my destiny

I cry out for justice

Hoping to ignite

Someone

everyone

Where is your fight?

Where is your passion?

Where. is. justice?

I'm searching for you

You've left the courtrooms

The Supreme Court needed you

I can't find you in the legislative sessions

10 hours I spent standing with Wendy

and I didn't see your face

Have you not upgraded your technology?

Cuz social media is running rampant

with hashtag lynchings

and Instagram strange fruits

I cry out for justice

Don't you hear me?

Don't you hear us?

Do you need more from us?

More protests? I'll get the picket signs

More calling lawmakers? I'll upgrade to 4G

Moe marches? My shoes will go to Selma , Alabama again or create a new route to Sanford, Florida

Just tell me what needs to happen for you to come back

I'm crying out for justice

Every day

Every night

Until there are no more tears left

Until there are no sounds that can come out of my mouth

and even then I won't be silent

No silence, never silence

I just need justice

7/1/13

New Poem: Pointless Living in a Memory

So I stopped sharing pieces on here because I want you all to get excited about my upcoming book but I have been writing pieces here and there. I already have 2 more books in mind with titles. (Thankful for the inspiration and visions that are placed on my heart)

So here is a piece I finished today, enjoy:

Pointless living in a memory

Planting myself in soil that no longer harvests

Clothing myself in remnants of what were

Conjuring up specific images in my mind

And replaying them

Adding a few ingredients here and there to make the remembrance spell stronger

Reciting the sacred to bring it all back

Pointless living in a memory

Creating visual scrapbooks

With the highlights of us

That I flip through occasionally 

Calling like I used to 

Texting liked I used to 

Expecting like we are in the same space

we were...then

But it's pointless living in a memory

Our memory

it was amazing

No regrets

But it's just that...a memory

A recollection of the past

And in the present

I can't keep retrieving stored information

Time to create and live

Time to accept what it is

Cuz what I need and deserve now

Can't be fulfilled in the 

"back then when we"

or the "remember how we"

So now I sit still in peace

Content with the what and where things are

Unsure of what the future holds for me

But I know that for now

It's just pointless living in a memory

6/19/13

Final 365 Days, 365 poems Sneak Peek

So on December 28, 2012 at 11:58 p.m. I finished my year long project of writing at least one poem everyday of the year of 2012. It was such a rewarding experience. I am so thankful to everyone who has supported me. I am thankful  for the experiences and the lessons learned throughout the year and I still have more to learn. This project has been amazing and I am excited to begin the process of editing it and publishing it. December 2013 be on the lookout for the release!

As a final sneak peek of the project, I wanted to share with you the 1st poem of the project and the last poem. Enjoy and if you want to see any more of the sneak peeks, take a look through my blog for more!!

January 1, 2012
He said I had a beautiful spirit
And then began to speak volumes of gracious words about me
I stood by in awe
Never knew our interactions made such an impact
Never knew that year afters seeing one another we could fall back into our communication as if time stood still
He said that we vibed on such a high level
And in that moment I stood speechless
He said I had a beautiful spirit
And as I reflect
I realize I have not fully seen what he sees in me
Have I gotten so far from myself
That the person he sees I can't find
Why can't I see her, feel her, know her
He said I had a beautiful spirit
And soon I hope once again to connect with her


December 31, 2012
10 minutes til
Til
A new chapter
Another 365
And I
Wanted to reflect
On so much
All the experiences
The risks
The highs
The lows
I had thought
Of clever descriptions
And word metaphors
But at
9 minutes til
None of those things came to mind
Overwhelmed I am
By it all
And the only description I can put
Is
"In spite of"
For this all began 
With His vision
His grace
His mercy
His "in spite of"
My insecurities
My flesh
My doubts
His "in spite of"
The times I turned my back on Him
7 minutes til
He is still there
Providing
Protecting
Loving
And as tears stream down my face
Onto this page
I know that 
"In spite of"
A new year
He will continue
To show me the way
"In spite of"
The challenges I will face
He will guide
I began this journey
To find her
And even at
4 minutes til
I am not sure
If I fully know her
But she's there
In Him
And as I get closer to Him
I will find her
In spite of  it all
2 minutes til....

365 poems, 365 Days (HOT OFF THE PRESS) 11/8/12

Saw the above picture today and it really hurt my heart. I also saw some die hard Romney supporters just completely do and say some off the wall things. It really made me sit back and think what kind of world are we in? When people say this re-election is the worst for America, it is not because of President Obama, it is because of the hatred of those who are not willing to see beyond themselves and their closed minds.

11/8/12

It's scary
to see
How deep the poison seeps
through the fabric of this Union
A poison so immune
That it no longer
diguises itself
No
it plasters its identity in the social media realm
claiming to be patriotic
But its not
Its
pure
hatred
KKK hoods
replaced with Twitter handles and hashtags
Burnt crosses of retweets
Lynching in the forms of groups "mobilizing" and creating campaigns to reverse
the "horrible" state of society
At 23 in 2012
I am supposed to be hopeful for the future
But no
I'm scared

365 Days 365 Poems Sneak Peek October 6, 2012

No big explanation for this one..just this

Words just cant rest in me ... they burn onto my chest until I release them

Enjoy

October 6, 2012

Oh Mr. Renaissance Man

So full of talents and qualities

Wisdom beyond this age

You travel across seas to understand your artistry

You perform to heal

You write to release

And I get it

For I travel across lands

I write to heal

I perform to release

I understand you

Mr. Renaissance

Your artistic sensibilities

Your passionate reflections

What beautiful creations

to be molded

if we joined forces

Renaissance woman

and Renaissance man

creating and

feeling

and loving

oh yes loving

where our words

interlock and change

people's hearts and minds

beginning with us

for we would mold and change

each other daily

yet this union

is just a fantasy

such sensitive artistic souls

can't pair

for we too often

search for something

something to fill us

and i would love to say we could

fill that for each other

mr renaissance

yet i'm scared to try

the renaissance woman i am

just keeps silent

so we find other compatible counterparts

that are just enough to appease us

but can never fully

grasp our beauty

but the beauty lives inside

and maybe one day

when your travels across seas

meet my travels across lands

we'll see

the renaissance

reborn

Sneak Peek 365 Poems, 365 Days: July 25, 2012 So This is Forgiveness

7 months strong and I am still writing a poem everyday of 2012. This journey has truly been amazing and I am thankful for those who have supported me throughout it all. Earlier this year in my writing, I struggled with forgiveness. How does one forgive? How do you just wake up and say I forgive someone, especially when you have felt that they have betrayed or disrespected you? Today was an experience in which I truly forgave someone and released the burden and stronghold that it had on my life. I will say that in forgiveness, it is not an act that can be done alone. It requires strength far beyond the human mind can handle. It requires love. Love that is not superficial but love that extends its hand to those who harm you. This kind of love that only comes from the Awesome and Mighty God. 


I am on a spiritual fast and God has been revealing so many things to me throughout it and today was an amazing experience in which my heart was convicted. This morning I was on a Prayer Conference call with an organization called Girlfriends Pray. The scripture for today was Matthew 5:43- 45:



⁴³ Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
⁴⁴ But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
⁴⁵ That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.


Verse 44 really stood out to me and God begin to tell me to pray for this individual who I had a grudge against. He told me to let it go. I began to write and once I finished, the weight that had been holding me down was lifted and it felt amazing.


Friends and readers, holding grudges in your heart does something to your spirit that is so damaging. Regardless of your religious affiliation, I urge you to look into your heart and examine those things that you feel are holding you back from moving forward. Feelings of bitterness, jealously, inadequacy...let those go and watch how your life is changed.


This burden being lifted was life changing and I began to cry and worship God like I have never done before. Words flew from my lips that I could not comprehend but I knew that God understood every syllable to escaped my lips. 


I wanted to share the piece that I wrote and I pray that it ministers to your spirit.
Much love


July 25, 2012
Conviction in my hart
I can no longer hold this against you
For the burden of this anger
Weighs heavily upon my soul
Always short breaths
Always temperature rising
But now it's time to release
Release all feelings of inadequacy
Comparing myself
For God has made me who I am
All of me
Wonderfully made and crafted in His image
I step into the mold He has created
Just for me
Allowing every inch of my spirit to connect
With the outlined frame
Now is the time to release
All the anger and bitterness
Swelled up in my heart
Every time your name is mentioned
Or every time I see you
Release the tension
That should have never formed in the first place
Release jealousy
Release negativity
Release ill wishes toward your life
I 
forgive 
you
I 
bless 
you
I pray that your heart receives all the blessings God has intended
I pray that your spirit adheres to the promises God has for your life
And I pray that you accept this token of love
Not of my flesh
But of the servant's mind and heart
That God has convicted
The love that I alone
could and can not extend to you
But only through He
can I extend this love
This hand of Christian fellowship
Weight lifted
Posture more at ease
Heart at normal pace
And
peace
So this
is forgiveness